They say that life is all about the journey, not the destination. But im guessing it helps to know where u wanna go in the first place.
In my case, however, like most other things in life, i'm completely clueless.
So I guess all im trying to do at this point is, take the path less traveled keep my eyes shut, fingers crossed, and hope to God that i dont run into a pole.
But this article is neither about me, nor life.
This article is all bout the little fun somethings that I couldnt help but notice along the way. Things that made me trip when i first noticed it, and still does sometimes.
Warning : Extreme Sarcasm Alert.
1. Ever noticed that guy in a striped shirt, n bad tie waiting on the elevator. When is he ever gonna learn that pressing the button a million times, does not hack into the elevator mainframe and make it go faster. Its gonna take its own sweet time. so please grow a pair, put on ur big boy panties n wait like the rest of us.
2. Women. Love em.
Short Skirts. Love em.
Women in short shirts. LOVE EM!!!
Which does bring up the question, why the heck would you wear a short skirt to a club, if all u gonna keep doin all night long is pulling it down.
3. Never understood chicks wearing T-shirts.
Here's why. They got stuff written on it.
simple rule. If its written, it shall be read.
So dont be giving me the 'Perv' look.
You're the one wearing the damn Tee. Might as well put up a sign, 'Please stare at my tits!!'
4. Hey Fella.. Seriously.. Just coz the T-shirt aint torn yet, doesnt mean that it fits. Buy a bigger size. The world can do without the graphic display. Oh, and while on the subject, the waist size is measured, yup u guessed it, around the waist. Not below the friggin tummy.
5. We all know the three second rule. My mom's been making me follow it for decades. And it totally makes sense coz germs be waiting with a stop watch for a full three seconds. Oh, as a secondary measure blow on it once. Now that makes it totally fool proof.
6. Arranged Marriages. The boon of being Indian. All your life you're told not to talk to stangers, until that one fateful day, ur asked to sleep with one.
Forever.
7. 'He's like a brother to me'.
When are women gonna realize the absurdity of this statement.
So, heres the deal.
Either the guy is gay.
Or he wants to get into ur pants.
Or he wants to show off his new toy and get into ur pants, eventually.
Or you must be friggin ugly.
Or he must be your actual brother.
P.S. On the plus side, it does make for an awesome 'thats what she said' joke.
8. Rahul is the best friend.
Rahul listens to u bitching about Life, Boyfriend, School, College, Parents.. Everything.
Rahul walks ur dog.
Rahul does ur homework.
Rahul never gets laid.
Rahul wants to get laid.
Rahul needs to get laid.
Rahul. Get a life. Move on yaar.
9. If ur 35, married and have like 14 kids.
Hallelujah!! Thats the sign u've been waiting for.
Move out of ur parent's basement already.
No, their life long dream was not to play babysitters.
No, they don't love u that much.
You are a fuckin leech is what you are.
10. My people managed to generate a population of over a Billion.
We churn out more 30 babies a minute.
Thats more than one every two seconds!!
But talking bout sex is not done.
Coz thats not Indian like.
Face Palm!!
11. The amount of bull crap that gets thrown around at the work place always manages to make my day better.
You need to focus : Stop being a retard.
Lets work on it together : U do all the work, I take all the credit
Be a team player : Quit complaining. You're working the weekend
12. Here's the truth.
You're the ugly one.
The only reason the hot one keeps telling u that ur hair is nice, is coz the rest of u is fugly. Yes FUGLY!!
Your only purpose is so that the hot one can seem to be more popular than she actually is.
You are an extra in a movie.
And now that u finally know it, stop acting pricey n shit.
knowledge is power.
13. Lucky number thirteen.
Black cat jumping theory.
Mirror breaking Prediacment.
Caste.
If u believe in any of this nonsense, you are a waste of sperm, effort and education.
Except, of course, in the case of the chilly and lemon 'protecting' the vehicle. Not ABS, or airbags, or seatbelts, Its all the in the lemon and chilly. That totally makes sense.
14. Three hours. Twelve hundred pairs of clothes tried on.
Almost inspires one to try and choke himself on a clothes hanger
'But I'm so broke yaa, I'm not buying anything now'
Priceless.
15. 'I'm not drinking tonight'
Right. Sure.
In my case, however, like most other things in life, i'm completely clueless.
So I guess all im trying to do at this point is, take the path less traveled keep my eyes shut, fingers crossed, and hope to God that i dont run into a pole.
But this article is neither about me, nor life.
This article is all bout the little fun somethings that I couldnt help but notice along the way. Things that made me trip when i first noticed it, and still does sometimes.
Warning : Extreme Sarcasm Alert.
1. Ever noticed that guy in a striped shirt, n bad tie waiting on the elevator. When is he ever gonna learn that pressing the button a million times, does not hack into the elevator mainframe and make it go faster. Its gonna take its own sweet time. so please grow a pair, put on ur big boy panties n wait like the rest of us.
2. Women. Love em.
Short Skirts. Love em.
Women in short shirts. LOVE EM!!!
Which does bring up the question, why the heck would you wear a short skirt to a club, if all u gonna keep doin all night long is pulling it down.
3. Never understood chicks wearing T-shirts.
Here's why. They got stuff written on it.
simple rule. If its written, it shall be read.
So dont be giving me the 'Perv' look.
You're the one wearing the damn Tee. Might as well put up a sign, 'Please stare at my tits!!'
4. Hey Fella.. Seriously.. Just coz the T-shirt aint torn yet, doesnt mean that it fits. Buy a bigger size. The world can do without the graphic display. Oh, and while on the subject, the waist size is measured, yup u guessed it, around the waist. Not below the friggin tummy.
5. We all know the three second rule. My mom's been making me follow it for decades. And it totally makes sense coz germs be waiting with a stop watch for a full three seconds. Oh, as a secondary measure blow on it once. Now that makes it totally fool proof.
6. Arranged Marriages. The boon of being Indian. All your life you're told not to talk to stangers, until that one fateful day, ur asked to sleep with one.
Forever.
7. 'He's like a brother to me'.
When are women gonna realize the absurdity of this statement.
So, heres the deal.
Either the guy is gay.
Or he wants to get into ur pants.
Or he wants to show off his new toy and get into ur pants, eventually.
Or you must be friggin ugly.
Or he must be your actual brother.
P.S. On the plus side, it does make for an awesome 'thats what she said' joke.
8. Rahul is the best friend.
Rahul listens to u bitching about Life, Boyfriend, School, College, Parents.. Everything.
Rahul walks ur dog.
Rahul does ur homework.
Rahul never gets laid.
Rahul wants to get laid.
Rahul needs to get laid.
Rahul. Get a life. Move on yaar.
9. If ur 35, married and have like 14 kids.
Hallelujah!! Thats the sign u've been waiting for.
Move out of ur parent's basement already.
No, their life long dream was not to play babysitters.
No, they don't love u that much.
You are a fuckin leech is what you are.
10. My people managed to generate a population of over a Billion.
We churn out more 30 babies a minute.
Thats more than one every two seconds!!
But talking bout sex is not done.
Coz thats not Indian like.
Face Palm!!
11. The amount of bull crap that gets thrown around at the work place always manages to make my day better.
You need to focus : Stop being a retard.
Lets work on it together : U do all the work, I take all the credit
Be a team player : Quit complaining. You're working the weekend
12. Here's the truth.
You're the ugly one.
The only reason the hot one keeps telling u that ur hair is nice, is coz the rest of u is fugly. Yes FUGLY!!
Your only purpose is so that the hot one can seem to be more popular than she actually is.
You are an extra in a movie.
And now that u finally know it, stop acting pricey n shit.
knowledge is power.
13. Lucky number thirteen.
Black cat jumping theory.
Mirror breaking Prediacment.
Caste.
If u believe in any of this nonsense, you are a waste of sperm, effort and education.
Except, of course, in the case of the chilly and lemon 'protecting' the vehicle. Not ABS, or airbags, or seatbelts, Its all the in the lemon and chilly. That totally makes sense.
14. Three hours. Twelve hundred pairs of clothes tried on.
Almost inspires one to try and choke himself on a clothes hanger
'But I'm so broke yaa, I'm not buying anything now'
Priceless.
15. 'I'm not drinking tonight'
Right. Sure.
