Disclaimer:
I accept no liability, tacit or implied, for any damage you may or may not incur as a result of reading this blog, or not, as the case may be, notwithstanding all liabilities implied or otherwise, ummm.. Shit, where was I.. Ohh yea.. no matter what happens, IT's NOT, and NEVER WILL BE, MY FAULT!
Now that we got the official crap out of the way, lets get on with it..
I don’t think I have ever actually seen my parents happy. Let’s face it, most of us grow up to be disappointments. It’s not really our fault either. Our parents consider it their birth right to build castles in thin air when we’re born. ‘My son’/ ‘My daughter’ will be this n that n God knows what not.. I am yet to see a dad or a mom that holds their kid in their hands for the first time and say, ‘Naah.. This one’s gonna be just another aam aadmi types’. So, it’s only natural that we, normal human beings, do not always meet up to expectations.
Technology has fucked things up for us even more. I mean there was a time when u could come home and lie about coming first in the whole class. U did not have to worry about them finding out anything. Today, they log into Facebook and there u have Mr. Nerdo, for the sake of authenticity we shall call him Guddu.. So, mom logs into facebook, and there u have Guddu’s latest post, his answer sheet along with the comment ‘I got the highest marks in the class’ written right next to it.
The inevitable happens. You get beaten up. Two reasons: For not getting the highest marks in the class, and two, for lying. Do they not understand u lied coz u din get the highest marks. If u did, then it wouldn’t be a lie. Also, you already knew this not to be true and didn’t particularly feel good about it, so u lied thinking that at least they would feel better. So in other words, you lied for their benefit. And yet you get your ass whooped. When will they learn???
But it’s not just during the wonder years that this happens. One would assume that after say about 20 years of seeing you grow into being a relatively insignificant human being, after shattering all those dreams, they would finally learn to give up. If only life were that simple.
The saga continues... The days right before college…
You want to be a painter, an artist, a chef, a musician, a teacher, a social worker.. You have a passion that needs to be ignited, a talent that needs to be groomed. College, the learning grounds to get you one step closer to fulfilling your destiny…
Your dad wants you to be an engineer!
No prizes for guessing which college you end up going to.
Four years later, finally getting done with the damn course, you do what India does.. Start working in a call center, just like everyone else. Makes u wonder why you took the damn degree in the first place.
A few more years of that crap and all you want is to be left alone, in peace and tell them to their face that, ‘Enough is enough. No more of your bullshit’.
N that’s when they take out the trump card. Marriage.
Marriage.. Shaadi.. Vivaah.. Kalyanam.. Hmmm..
If you are uncertain about getting married and/or are desperately seeking an excuse not to do so, then this is the point where you stop reading. For all those of you who don’t really give a rat’s ass.. Keep goin..
I don’t believe in marriage.
I know some of you might think that I’m being very cynical, but hear me out, and then feel free to judge.
Before we begin, let me clear a few things out.. I’m a romantic. Any, or possibly all of my ex-girlfriends might say a lot of ahem.. ‘nice’ things about me, but one thing they will not say is, ‘Babil is not a romantic’.
I love romance. I love women. I love my woman. I love it when I’m the center point of someone’s existence. I love everything about being in love. Blah blah blah.. yada yada yada.. the whole nine yards.. You could say that I love, love. It’s cheesy, but true.
I am also a firm believer in monogamy, so don’t even bother going down that road.
So why don’t believe in marriage?
For starters, I don’t believe that two individuals in ‘love’ need a piece of paper, or ‘public acknowledgement’ to stay together with each other, forever. If they want to be with each other, they should. If they don’t, then they shouldn’t.
Either ways they have the freedom to walk away, without any repercussions. This is the point where many people go, ‘So you want to walk away, that’s why you don’t believe in marriage’. My reply to y’all is simple, ‘Make it worth my while, and I’ll stay.’ How is it, you think it’s fair for you to go psycho on someone, and still expect them to stick around?
And if you are married and decide to go in for a divorce.. Forget the anguish of alimony, paying their lazy ass your hard earned money, so that they don’t suffer, when all you want is that. For heaven’s sake, this is someone who you just can’t stand to be around anymore, and rhetorically speaking, someone who's head u want to squish under a road roller. Slowly.
Why the hell should one individual be held responsible or penalized for the entire chain of events? It takes two to tango. One has as much a part as their partner did in fuckin things up.
But it’s not just the money. It’s getting the court to approve it, the ‘religion dude’ to sign off on it, the family, the parents, the goddamn neighbors, and all their irrelevant opinions. I mean, gimme a fucking break. Its personal.
It almost resembles the credit card debt nightmare. The easiest thing in the world, to get into. The most difficult thing in the world, to get out of.
Now for the record, I, like most of you out there, did give relationships a fair chance. In fact, I was with this one girl for a long time, almost three years. I must admit that the thought of marrying her and staying with her for the rest of my life did cross my mind. That turned out to be a disaster, the sort of which would inspire James Cameron to make Terminator 14. So let’s just say that did not help tilt the scales in favor of marriage.
Arranged marriages. Now that’s a joke. You get into a relationship with a woman who you think is compatible for you. A few days/weeks/months/years later, you or your partner realize that you can’t stand to be around each other anymore. Have a few girlfriends in your time, and you begin to see a pattern. Now parents actually expect us to meet a complete stranger, and get married to them based shaadi.com’s recommendations. I don’t think so. These are the same parents who don’t have a clue about who I am or what I like. Need I really say more? Arranged marriages.. HaHa..
‘Babil, you’re mentally hurt, cynical n longing for a good woman's love. That’s why u don’t want to get married.’, she said. I replied.. ‘Sweetheart, let’s say I don’t like a particular show on a CRT television. Now whether that is being shown on a Plasma, or a LCD, or a LED or even in goddamn 3D, its still not going to make me like the damn show the slightest bit more.’
Anyhoo.. Getting back to our original plot..
Anyone tried explaining to their parents they do not believe in marriage? I did. It wasn’t pleasant to say the least. Mom went into Malayalam TV serial drama queen mode so fast, that she could give some of those professional actors a complex. Dad shook his head with that disappointed ‘I should have used a rubber’ look on his face.
Life is too short to learn from your own mistakes. Stephen Hawking must have said that.
When are parents gonna learn to back off and let you make your own blunders. When are they gonna realize that just coz you don’t attest to the conforms of society’s norms, it isn’t the end of the world. When are they gonna realize that just because they don’t agree with something you do, that doesn’t make it wrong. When are they gonna realize that being different, is just aka for having a personality and not being afraid to explore it. When are they gonna realize that we are the next generation, that we live by our own rules, and that where rules don’t exist, heck we just make em.
When When When???
P.S. Fuck You Guddu!!!
